But that was my apple...

It was one of those not enough sleep, too many tears, lots of grabbing hands and biting teeth kind of day. The kind where you are desperate for time alone, but “it’s seriously still two hours until your dad comes home?!” So in an effort to not lose it, I grabbed an apple from the fridge and took a deep breath alone in the kitchen.

“What’s that? I want one. But don’t cut it. And no skin!”

“Okay, just a minute” Sigh. Meet the demands of your apple needing daughter. Flop on the couch and think, “Now I can just eat my apple in peace.”

Apple goes flying because baby grabs at it. Bigger sigh. Lots of crying because baby thinks he can eat a whole apple and clings to your shirt and hair until he gets it.

Think to self, “Why can’t I just have some peace and my apple!?” Kind of want to cry over an apple.

After letting my baby gnaw on it for a while, I finished the soggy fruit and began to think that maybe the apple wasn’t what I really needed. That challenging afternoon had left me searching for mommy skills from my own strength, but I had none. No strength, no energy, no patience. The apple was not going to provide any of that. I was in need of a different fruit, a fruit that grows from a different vine. I needed to reconnect with the one that freely and eagerly offers these gifts to His beloved children, to me, a mommy whose spiritual fruit was shriveling. I needed to refocus, to surrender my inability to “mom” and ask Jesus to replenish my fruit basket, to fill me up with love, joy, patience, gentleness, you know, all that good stuff that we mommas hope to give our kids every day but can’t do without His help.

So, remember, when you are sharing your food even when you don’t want to, you are a good momma. But, dear, you cannot do this alone. “He is the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in him, and He in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from him, you can do nothing.” (John 15:5)

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,gentleness and self-control Galatians 5:22-23